Friday, July 25, 2008

If TBB was in the ProTour...

With this year's exciting installment of the Tour de France having just finished up, we'll take a look at what TBB would look like if it was a ProTour team by comparing each of our team riders to current professional racers. And what are the odds, we have 9 riders and one director sportiff, just like a real Tour team. :)

Without further ado, I present to you, the 2008 Team Brown Bear squad:

Andy (Fabian Cancellara)

Andy, much like Fabian, is a powerhouse rider with massive thighs that can put out huge amounts of watts when needed. He is also not against working for his teammates and winning world time trial championships.

Brian (Alejandro Valverde)

Sometimes he can sprint. Sometimes he can climb. Sometimes he can get dropped by the leaders and lose huge amounts of time in the overall standings. It's a crapshoot, really.

Brooks (Andy Schleck)

A promising rider that could one day be the GC leader for TBB, he dances on the pedals with ease on the climbs while others around him suffer. Although he still has to get out of the shadow of his brother...

Dave (Alexandre Vinokourov)

The only one on the team that is currently serving a suspension for doping...but we all believe that he is innocent! Dave's attacking style is a perfect match to that of his Kazakh brother. And you wonder why we call him Vino...

Greg (George Hincapie)

He can do it all. Sprint. Climb. Time trial. Crash on the cobbles at Paris-Roubaix. Plus, he is the only team member that the women seem to flock to...and can you blame them?

Heather (Tom Danielson)

She said she couldn't climb, and then she dominated at the Alps in France much like Tom does at Brasstown Bald in Georgia. Unfortunately, Tom is usually injured, and Heather's current pregnancy "injury" is keeping her from having the season that she was expecting.

Mary (Dave Zabriskie)

Possessing great time trial skill and a zany sense of humor, both Mary and Dave are riders that are underappreciated by opposing teams. They are also perfect candidates for future GC contenders if their climbing improves...something that usually happens with age and experience anyway.

Rick, Director Sportiff (Bjarne Riis)

Rick is the mastermind behind the scenes of TBB. Many don't know the full background on him, but supposedly he was a big time pro back in the day (even unexpectedly winning a Grand Tour), that only recently admitted to doping. Oops!

Scotty (Sylvain Chavanel)

Scotty is the wildcard on the team. He has an attacking style, but sometimes choses to attack at the wrong times or too frequently. But it could be said that he is the most entertaining TBB rider to watch due to those attacks. And they even sometimes work out. Unfortunately he chooses to go on long blogging sabbaticals, so we don't know what he is up to sometimes.

Trent (Magnus Backstedt)

Trent and Big Maggy have the distinction of being the only two ProTour riders that weigh above 190lbs. Being that most professional riders weigh less than 150lb, the smaller riders are scared and intimidated by the sheer power that Trent and Magnus possess. They also give the other riders on the team an excellent draft to work with...almost like motor-pacing!

1 comment:

Lars said...

I am honored to get such a skilled alter ego considering I am the only team member who does not actually race.